Saturday, October 17, 2009

I KNOW the phonebook is TRUE!

So I was driving home from work today and was listening to the radio. On KSL, they have a program where anyone can call in and vent about anything for 30 seconds. However, they do have a call screener, so I guess you can’t really talk about anything but, oh well. It was while listening to this program that spawned my Optimus Prime getting the Nobel Peace Prize idea. But last night, a guy called in and said, “Hey everyone out in Salt Lake. I just want to say that I can find about as much truth from the phone book as I can from the Book of Mormon.” Once I heard that, I had two thoughts: a) he was a bitter old man who’s heart is a black hole of goodness and who likes to call up companies that our owned by the LDS Church just to spread anti-Mormon fodder everywhere, or b) he’s a strong LDS man who has strong feelings about the truthfulness of the phone book. But I started thinking about it, and it’s true! The phone book is filled with facts… and that’s it. If there are any typos or errors, they are the errors of men… those poor, poor men who have dedicated themselves to typing phone numbers all day for the rest of their lives. So despite your best efforts at making the Book of Mormon look pathetic, you may have actually built testimonies. I doubt it, but it’s an option too. Hey, thanks bitter, anti-Mormon man.

The radio announcers handled it pretty well. I’m pretty sure that they are LDS since they work for KSL. They were talking about how that guy had lied to the call screener to get on the air. They called him a “real class act” and moved on.


  1. I THOUGHT i should comment so that you knew people were reading this.
    Keep 'um coming!

  2. Agreed! The phone book just might be the second-most correct book on earth.

    Perhaps "the Gospel is like the phone book" should be the next entry in my growing online compilation of near-blasphemous analogies.