Monday, April 12, 2010

Mint Vanilla Toothpaste

So in my marketing class, we were assigned to come up with different taglines for new products. One of the products was a huge and satisfying boiler-cooked burger. My taglines ranged from "Even cows like the taste!" to "Ingest the Best!" I was having fun laughing at myself in the library while everyone else thought I finally had my break from reality. Another product that I was given was Mint Vanilla Toothpaste. I need to walk you through my train of thought here: What is tingly? Ah! When body parts fall asleep. Here's the tagline: "You know how you cut off the circulation in your arm and it falls asleep? Yeah, it's like that." For me, that's a good tagline. I can appreciate that one. What else is tingly? Sometimes it's tingly when I pee. Yeah. "It's like peeing... in your mouth!" I can see it now. Brooke Sheilds (or some other washed up actress) saying, "Mint Vanilla Toothpaste: It's like peeing in your mouth." I couldn't see that one going over too well with my professor. So I ended up with the tagline: "The Taste of Freshness Redefined." But my train of thought was pretty entertaining. Maybe I've just got peeing on the mind because of my twin nephews who peed in Easter Eggs and threw them at each other in the living room yesterday. If you're confused, feel free to look up Shelly Morris's Facebook page.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Zombie Morning

What will I do when I wake up and realize that everyone around me are zombies? That's how it always works in the movies. People wake up and realize that hell has broken loose over night. I figure that it's just a matter if time until it actually happens in real life. So what will I do? I don't have any shotguns or grenades. I do have knives, but I don't want to get close enough to a zombie to use it. In the movies, they say that the best way to kill a zombie is to shoot it in the head. I'm not completely convinced by that theory because of the fact that the zombie is already dead. How is shooting a dead thing going to kill it? I don't think that Hollywood really thought that one through. I guess if we're going to use movies as the best source of zombie-logic, then my best weapon against zombies would be Will Smith.
One of the biggest questions on my mind is this: will real zombies move fast or slow? Some movies show zombies running at full human-speed, while other movies show them moving like they're wearing a catheter. Different movies have depicted both, but let's face it, that was just directors taking creative liberties. I don't think they really know. Could I outrun a zombie? Could I outsmart it? Maybe there is an unwritten rule stating that a zombie has to answer a riddle before it can eat you... and the answer CANNOT be "Aaauuoomm". I have no clue. The closest glimpse of the undead that I have had are students on campus during Finals Week. I'm guessing that my best bet would be to try to get on the roof of my apartment complex and wait for a helicopter to pick me up. But what if zombies are smart enough to fly a helicopter and the pilot just wants to eat me? There are just so many unanswered questions.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

New Study

For my Capstone Project, I am doing research with the former Dean of the Marriott School of Business. It is a great opportunity. We are hoping to actually publish our study once it is all said and done. In order to create our study, I needed to research what other articles are out there about our topic. By the way, our topic is on scams and scammers. So I started doing some searches of the school libraries database. I found a few good articles and a few strange ones. One of the strange ones was titled "Financial loss in pyramid savings schemes, downward social mobility, and acute coronary syndrome in transitional Albania." Wow! That study seems a little to specific and a little too random for my liking. But it did inspire me to change our study. Now, we are studying "Psychological profiles of scam victims, social immobility caused by virtual worlds where a person can heal dragon wounds, the innovation of water noodles, and the technological advances in triple bypass surgery for bark and ambrosia beetles of America Samoa."

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Olympic Hockey

So anyone who watched the Gold Medal Hockey Game between Canada and the USA, was biting their nails all the way to the end. They were both very good teams and it was a good match-up. I turned it on at the end of the second period. Canada was winning 2-1. It was a very intense game without a whole lot of power plays or fights. I was glad that the game was being played so cleanly. Then the third period rolled around. I was so nervous for the US Team. The had defeated the Canadian team earlier in the Olympics for the first time since the sixties (or something)! Canada has always had a very strong team and I wanted USA to win (because I'm biased). There were so many shots taken and so many blocked pucks. I told Melissa the Disney would be buying the rights to make a movie in 20 years. I could literal envision it: The economy is in shambles, the political front of the USA is falling apart, terror alerts are a way of life, and every American Dream rests on the fate of a widely watched hockey game. Then the USA finally scored with only seconds left in the game! It was freakishly awesome. So the Gold Medal Game between the two best teams in the world went into overtime. Very awesome! Then Canada came and made a point, finishing the sudden-death overtime period. So the USA lost, I was depressed, the economy is still struggling, and Obama is still in office. Sorry Disney, no blockbuster film here... Canada won.

Advertising at its Finest

I'm just glad to know that there are other people out there that would make up the same commercials that I would.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Excited for Graduation

I am bored in class again. We have a Grad student teaching us today and I know that "Psychological Test Reliability" isn't the most enthralling subject, but this guy is just making it unbearable. Not to mention that, after 4 PM, I can't pay attention to anything that is not my wife, on the TV, or in a book. Okay that isn't true. But today I have a question about one of the greatest anomalies in the universe... Why is it that every single classroom on earth has to have someone that cannot resist raising their hand and making the most off-topic, nonsensical comments? Not only do they do this, but they do it every five minutes. There is definitely one in my class right now. We call her "the mouth". She may just be the worst offender that I have ever seen. I can't tell if it's a compulsive need to hear her own voice or a soft sub-category of Turrets. I know that I am attacking one person and it isn't fair, but let's be honest with ourselves... we all know what I'm talking about. So what is the solution? A "raise your hand" tax? Deportation? I know! What if we got to ask stupid questions and make random comments as they try to teach a lecture about how Warcraft has improved their social skills! That might teach 'em. I'm not really that passionate about all of this but it makes for an entertaining monologue. If anything, "the mouth" just makes me more excited and anxious to graduate... but she mostly just annoys me.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Mighty P90X

Now I am just bored in class. My most excellent wife (wow, that sounded like Bill and Ted) bought P90X as a Christmas Present. We finally got the equipment we need to start the workouts. One thing that I am really excited about is our pull-up bar. Let me tell you why I am so excited. It's because it does not fit on any of our doors... except for our front door. I'm really excited to get strange looks from our apartment complex neighbors as they go to defrost their cars. We got to do our first workout this morning. We decided to start with plyometrics. Um... Wow! it was super tough. It's going to be a while before we can actually do a workout all the way through. I can honestly say that I have never been so impressed with or liked something that makes me want to throw up after 20 minutes. Well, we're committed now so we had better be in better shape in 3 months. But it will be a tough 3 months.

Movie Reviews

Let me just say this, I am conducting two separate research experiments. All my group members in both experiments are girls. What do we know about girls? They're perfectionists. It is true that I will probably end up getting a good grade, but it is also true that they are sucking out any of my free time to update my blog. Since I haven't had much time to think about anything else, I thought I would do some movie reviews.
Melissa and I watched 2 movies last weekend. First off, we saw "Julie and Julia". That was a great movie... if you want time to go by as slow as it does at work. The movie was really well done and Meryl Streep (spelling?) did an awesome job, but I could not believe many times I had to change positions or check the clock throughout that movie. I was expecting daylight to burst through our window at any time. Like I said, it was a good movie, but it felt long.
Next up is the Fantastic Mr. Fox. This movie could be summed up in one word... overrated. All I have heard are good things about this movie. To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure I saw the same movie that all the critics were raving about. There were two distinct parts that made me laugh really hard, but other than that, I didn't take much from the film.
And last of all: A while ago, we went to go see Avatar. All I knew is that it was 10 years in the making and it was a James Cameron film. I was expecting it to be super-overrated. I could describe this movie in one sentence... I was surprised at how much I actually liked it. It was very entertaining. Not to mention that it looks amazing in 3D. I recommend this movie to anyone who will not read too much into political undertones and just like an entertaining, okay-plotted, well-acted movie. Sure there were some anti-Bush administration or pro Global Warming things that they threw at you, but it was very good overall. There you have it. My movie review. Take it for what it's worth. And if you do not agree with my reviews, at least we can agree on one thing... the word "ungulate" is not a very common word in everyday conversation.