Sunday, March 28, 2010

Zombie Morning

What will I do when I wake up and realize that everyone around me are zombies? That's how it always works in the movies. People wake up and realize that hell has broken loose over night. I figure that it's just a matter if time until it actually happens in real life. So what will I do? I don't have any shotguns or grenades. I do have knives, but I don't want to get close enough to a zombie to use it. In the movies, they say that the best way to kill a zombie is to shoot it in the head. I'm not completely convinced by that theory because of the fact that the zombie is already dead. How is shooting a dead thing going to kill it? I don't think that Hollywood really thought that one through. I guess if we're going to use movies as the best source of zombie-logic, then my best weapon against zombies would be Will Smith.
One of the biggest questions on my mind is this: will real zombies move fast or slow? Some movies show zombies running at full human-speed, while other movies show them moving like they're wearing a catheter. Different movies have depicted both, but let's face it, that was just directors taking creative liberties. I don't think they really know. Could I outrun a zombie? Could I outsmart it? Maybe there is an unwritten rule stating that a zombie has to answer a riddle before it can eat you... and the answer CANNOT be "Aaauuoomm". I have no clue. The closest glimpse of the undead that I have had are students on campus during Finals Week. I'm guessing that my best bet would be to try to get on the roof of my apartment complex and wait for a helicopter to pick me up. But what if zombies are smart enough to fly a helicopter and the pilot just wants to eat me? There are just so many unanswered questions.



  2. I think that both you and Madsquid have made some great points.

    I am much more worried about cloning than zombies. A clone of me would be virtually indestructible. It would be smarter, stronger, and better looking. Nothing could stop it. No one would have the heart to kill it (did I mention better looking?) And it would be pure evil. How do I know this? I've seen Lost, you can have flashforwards.

  3. Hey Brady,

    I gave you an award on my blog, anyone who puts this much thought into zombies, deserves it.